pure genius
as seen on 5ives:
Five great reasons to buy a Hummer?
1. You’ve been wanting to buy much wider groceries (but have been stymied by the timid width of your Escalade)
2. You and your make-believe wife were thinking of having 11 or 12 imaginary kids
3. You’re sick of always being the environment’s goddamned bitch
4. You could totally put a keg back there and just drive around and shit
5. They were all out of penises